For many children a birthday party is a highly anticipated event. There are balloons, cupcakes and entertainment every which way you look. What’s not to love? If your child is sensory sensitive and gets overwhelmed easily however, birthday parties can be very distressing. The things that make a birthday fun for most kids are the same things that can easily be a challenge for these children. Whether it is your own child’s birthday or someone else’s, here are five reasons why birthday parties are hard for a highly sensitive child (HSC).
1. Birthday parties are unpredictable
Highly sensitive children find comfort in routine. They like knowing what to expect and feeling in control. A birthday party is anything but predictable. They are typically full of “fun” surprises and activities.
As more and more parents abandon the simple home party for the convenience of a “planned for you” birthday party at a children’s play place, kids are required to acclimate to a new environment of unfamiliar sounds, sights and people before they even take off their coat. This can be quite difficult for the HSC who needs time to observe and warm up to their environment.
2. Birthday parties are full of sensory stimulation
When you think of a child’s birthday party what comes to mind?
- Loud music?
- Excited kids yelling, bouncing and running around in all directions?
- A Pinterest explosion of decorations and balloons everywhere you look?
- Everyone singing happy birthday in a crowded room?
- Party entertainers leading kids through games and activities?
Simple is not a word that describes children’s birthday parties these days. As over the top birthday parties become the new norm, it is easier than ever for a highly sensitive child to feel overwhelmed and anxious in a birthday party environment.
3. Birthday parties require a lot of social interaction
Birthdays involve a lot of social pressure, especially if your child is the guest of honor. Children are expected to greet other children and adults, say “Happy Birthday” to the host, dish out thank you’s and happily go off playing with other kids.
Communicating and playing with other guests can feel very uncomfortable and difficult for a highly sensitive child. They may have trouble saying ‘Happy Birthday’ or interacting with friends due to an unfamiliar, stimulating environment. Highly sensitive children typically are much more comfortable interacting one-on-one. Attempting to join in with a group of peers they may or may not know can be extremely challenging for them.
4. Birthday parties involve pressure to perform
Activities and organized games can help provide structure at a birthday celebration, but they also coincide with a pressure to perform. HSCs are often reluctant to participate in party games due to the fact that they place a lot of attention on the player’s abilities and there is high risk for failure – think musical chairs, relay races, pinata, freeze dance and limbo.
Imagine feeling completely overwhelmed and then being pushed to play and navigate the rules of unfamiliar games. It’s no wonder why highly sensitive kids shut down, get angry and/or have meltdowns!
5. Birthday parties put a child in the spotlight
Most highly sensitive children do not enjoy being the center of attention. There is always the potential for a child to become the focus of attention as a party guest, but it is unavoidable as the birthday boy or girl.
Kids wish to play and sit near the birthday child, adults want to ask them questions and everyone attempts to get a picture with the birthday boy or girl.
Having to open presents in front of everyone or enduring the song “Happy Birthday” can feel like torture to a child who wants nothing more than to blend in with the crowd. If your child cries when people sing to them on their birthday or refuses to blow out the candles, you are not alone. Sensory overwhelm, the pressure to perform, and being the center of attention can be all too much for a highly sensitive child.
Have you had similar experiences with your son or daughter? How does your child handle birthday parties? I’d love for you to share by leaving a comment below.
Wow this could not be more fitting. Yesterday, my husband got to take our son to a birthday party that he did not feel comfortable at.
We had a whole conversation about it just last night. Thank you for writing about this! It helps to have reminders every once in awhile that our HSC just need a little more time to adjust to new situations. .
Hi Christine! Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing. It’s so easy to forget how hard celebrations can be for sensitive kids. I am so glad it served as a helpful reminder at the perfect time 🙂