The Highly Sensitive Parent by Dr. Elaine Aron: A Book Review

he Highly Sensitive Parent by Dr. Elain Aron Book Review

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Parenting is a 24/7, ever-changing job that requires a person to wear many different hats and adapt quickly to unpredictable situations. In short, it’s hard work. If you are a highly sensitive person, you may find parenting to be particularly challenging.

In her new book, The Highly Sensitive Parent, Dr. Elaine Aron helps parents identify and address the implications of their high sensitivity in the midst of raising a family. I was honored to receive an advanced copy of this book from Dr. Aron. In this post I will be sharing my honest review of this book.

Every highly sensitive parent is different, but most will face challenges related to overstimulation, emotional responses, decision making, and social obligations in their parenting journey. Dr. Aron dedicates a chapter to each of these topics and focuses heavily on tools and strategies to help each highly sensitive parent navigate these trouble areas. She concludes the book with two chapters dedicated to highly sensitive parents and their partners.

Overstimulation and the Highly Sensitive Parent

The Highly Sensitive Parent, begins with a self-examination test to help parents determine if they are a highly sensitive person. Dr. Aron then dives deep into a conversation about the intense overstimulation that can come with parenting. She addresses the particular challenges highly sensitive parents face and offers tools on how to cope with the chaos and demands that go hand in hand with raising kids.

Dr. Aron explains that a parent’s overstimulation is often directly related to their child’s level of stress and overstimulation.

S highly sensitive parent meltdowns he gives some very useful tips for avoiding overstimulation meltdowns in children and also provides solid suggestions on how the highly sensitive parent can create boundaries in their own life to minimize overwhelm.

There is a strong focus on getting help and taking time for oneself. While I agree that a highly sensitive parent needs to be sure they are taking care of their own mental and physical health, I found some of her ideas related to resting to be a bit unrealistic.

Emotional Responses and the Highly Sensitive Parent

Highly sensitive parents are typically quite aware of their children’s needs and emotions. They have stronger emotions and empathy towards their kids as well, which can serve them well in parenting but can also lead to a lot of parental distress.

Every stage of a child’s development creates different emotion-inducing situations which creates positive and negative emotions in parents. The Highly Sensitive Parent is not a parenting book, but Dr. Aron reviews each stage of raising children in this book and offers advice on dealing with the negative feelings that can surround parenting at every stage.

highly sensitive parent emotions There is a whole section of the book dedicated to the emotions of fear, worry, anxiety, anger, depression, guilt and shame that arises in highly sensitive parents. She helps assure highly sensitive parents that these feelings are normal and they are not wrong for having these feelings.

Dr. Aron offers ways to regulate one’s responses and also shares parenting stories from other highly sensitive parents. I found the parent stories throughout the book to be particularly comforting. They assure the highly sensitive parent that they are not alone when navigating difficult emotions throughout one’s parenting journey.

Social Interactions and the Highly Sensitive Parent

There is a lot of social stimulation that comes with having a child. There are new parents to meet, playdates, volunteer tasks at school, activities and sports practices/games to attend, social interactions with teachers and the list goes on and on.

Dr. Aron dedicates a whole chapter on navigating the intensified social contact. It discusses solid strategies for interacting with teachers and other parents, to well-meaning relatives and health professionals.

Highly Sensitive Parents and their Partners

The last part of Highly Sensitive Parent provides insight into the five big problems that a highly sensitive parent may face with their partner and how to work through them. Partner relationships change when a child comes into the mix. Raising children can easily strain a relationship, especially when you differ on how to parent a child and how to share the workload.

highly sensitive parent and spouse partner Babies can be a joy, but the lack of sleep and overstimulation can make this stage particularly challenging for highly sensitive parents. Then there is the toddler stage which can be fun, but also demanding. School-age kids and adolescents bring on a whole new set of emotions and challenges for highly sensitive parents.

It is easy for a person to go through life not fully realizing that they were highly sensitive until they became a parent, when these challenges are magnified. Frequently parents communicate to me that they did not realize that they were highly sensitive until they became a parent and began researching why their own child felt things so intensely.

Dr. Aron dedicates the last two chapters of the book to the relationship a highly sensitive parent has with their partner. The first of the two chapters focus on the five big problems that plague most couples (especially highly sensitive parents) while parenting. She provides some powerful tools for working on these problems and then applies these tools and discusses solutions in the following chapter.

High Sensitivity: Joys and Challenges

High sensitivity can create parenting challenges, but also be a parent’s most valuable asset. It can lead to increased personal joy and a closer, happier relationship with their child.

highly sensitive parent benefits As a highly sensitive parent, it’s important to know though that you are more vulnerable to overstimulation and stress. You need a guide and a solid plan to help you navigate the implications of high sensitivity while raising a family.

The Highly Sensitive Parent by Dr. Aron lays out everything in a very clear and concise way. It is a must-read for every highly sensitive parent and their partners.