sensory meltdown or tantrum

What is the difference between a tantrum and a sensory meltdown? How can you differentiate between the two when a child’s reaction often looks the same in either instance? In this article, I will be defining the two terms and describing the causes of each, so that you will be able to clearly tell whether your child is having a tantrum or a sensory meltdown.

To start, let’s imagine that you are out running errands with your child. You are on the third store of the day and everything seems to be going well. As you head to the checkout counter, you mention that you have one more store to go to before heading home. While standing in line your child starts to get fussy and before you know it big emotions are pouring out of them. There is a lot of crying, screaming and flailing. You are trying everything to calm them down, while the cashier and others in line are watching your every move. What’s going on?

Where did this outburst come from? Is this a tantrum or a sensory meltdown? Sometimes they both result in big emotions in the form of crying, whining, screaming or aggression, so how can you tell the difference?

In order to answer this, we first have to define both of these terms and clarify what is driving their behavior.

Tantrums

A tantrum is a way a small child expresses frustration. They frequently occur in young children who do not have the emotional maturity or words to deal with things they don’t like. Tantrums are often a reaction to not getting something that is desired or having to do something that is not desirable. They can also be the result of a hungry or tired child.

Furthermore, there are usually predictable situations that lead to tantrums. A few instances include being asked to eat unappealing foods, being told to share a toy, being informed that it is time to leave a fun place and bedtime.

Most tantrums can be tamed when something they don’t like is “fixed”. This could mean getting to play with a toy that they want, having a certain food they desire to eat, or allowing them to stay somewhere they want for a few more minutes. While giving in will likely end the tantrum, this doesn’t solve the problem. It is a temporary fix and will only make correcting this behavior harder as your child grows.

If the tantrum is the result of being hungry or tired, providing them with a snack or putting them down for a nap should be all that is needed.

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Sensory meltdowns

Sensory meltdowns are a result of overwhelm. Sensory overload can occur when there is too much sensory stimuli building up over time or occurring all at once. Each child’s tolerance level will vary greatly depending on their personality and genetic makeup.

A highly sensitive child’s threshold will be much lower than that of a child who is less affected by their environment. A child having a sensory meltdown does not choose to get overwhelmed and lose control of their emotions. It is a reaction to the abundance of stimuli they are receiving. Unlike some tantrums, sensory meltdowns are not a result of not getting something that they want in the moment.

Sensory meltdowns usually occur outside of the home, in a place with a lot of sensory input. Think of our shopping example for a moment. What sensory stimulation could be occurring there?

Is there loud music playing in the store?

Are there bright lights? tantrum or sensory meltdown

Is it crowded?

Are there strong smells?

Is there a lot of visual stimulation?

If you are not highly sensitive or easily affected by sensory stimulation, you may be able to block all of this sensory input out or be completely unaware of it.

Can you think of a situation that would overwhelm you? A crowded elevator? A fast amusement ride? Whatever you choose, think of the feelings it stirs up inside you. Now, think of a child having those same feelings and being unable to understand why they feel this way and or how to communicate how they feel. Sensory meltdowns are their way of releasing their frustrations and fears the only way they know how.

Be mindful of your child’s limits

Children have little control over their daily lives. As parents, we often choose where they go to school, what they eat and what they do in their free time. Therefore, it is so important as parents to be aware of our children’s needs and be mindful of their sensory limits.

It is possible to decrease and even prevent these types of meltdowns through careful planning and adaptations.

While tantrums can be stopped with something a child desires, this is not true for sensory meltdowns. The best thing you can do for your child during a sensory meltdown is to move them to a calmer, less stimulating environment.

If your child struggles at birthdays and special events outside of the home, you may find my course, Celebration Strategies for the Highly Sensitive Child, to be very helpful to your family.

What is driving the behavior?

Now that you know what tantrums and sensory meltdowns are, the second part is to figure out what is driving a child’s behavior. This involves understanding your child’s personality and triggers.

It’s a good idea to start recording your child’s outbursts in a notebook or journal of some kind. You want to look for patterns related to when, where and why they are occurring.

Are they the result of not getting something desirable or do they seem to occur out of nowhere? Does your child frequently struggle at busy celebrations and special events or are they the life of the party? Do they have difficulty with transitions or new situations? Over time, you will begin to see some patterns emerge.

So is it a tantrum or sensory meltdown?

Let’s get back to our question from the beginning. Did you think the child was having a tantrum or sensory meltdown?

Either answer could be right. It all depends on the child, their motivation and the situation.

Did they see something in line that they wanted?

Were they tired of sitting still in the cart?

Did the bright lights, loud music and crowded line become to much for them to handle?

We would need to know more about the situation and the child before we could know for sure. This is exactly what you as a parent need to do in a real life situation. You need to understand what is causing your child’s behavior before you can decide how to respond to it.

For instance, is the child trying to reach for something they want or have they been told they can’t have/do something? If so, this is your classic tantrum.

Did the outburst seem to come from nowhere? Are they usually set off by stimulating environments and being away from home for too long? Are they covering their ears or hiding their eyes? This is likely to be the result of sensory overwhelm.

Has it been a while since they ate or is it time for their nap? This is likely a tantrum.

meltdown

Lastly, tantrums and sensory meltdowns require very different responses. So it is extremely important to be able to distinguish between the two. If you are discovering or have already figured out that your child is more sensitive to their environment than other children, check out my post on how to handle a sensitive child’s big emotions.

Moving forward

I hope that you now have a clear understanding of the differences between tantrums and sensory meltdowns. These are two very different entities that require different actions. Tantrums are often in response to wanting attention. Sensory meltdowns are usually out of your child’s control and are in response to overwhelm in their current environment. Take this information into consideration when figuring out how to best respond to your child’s behavior.