Deciding where to send your child to school is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make for them. It’s also one of the most important! Where your child attends school can make all the difference in their academic and social success, as well as determine their future endeavors.
No wonder this decision is such a source of anxiety for parents! If you are raising a highly sensitive child (HSC) that has sensory or anxiety challenges, the decision can be even more daunting. In this article, I will be discussing eight questions you should definitely be asking when choosing a school for your child.
8 Key Questions to Ask when Considering a School
1. What is the average class size?
How many children are there per class? Is there a classroom maximum before it is split into two classes?
Highly sensitive children often struggle with noise and crowded places, so the bigger the class size, the more likely they are to feel overwhelmed.
2. What is the student-teacher ratio?
Student-teacher ratios will vary greatly depending on your child’s age, grade and school, but it can be a good indicator of a teacher’s workload and how much individual attention your child will likely receive.
Does the school utilize classroom aides and if so, for what grades? Having an extra adult in the class can make the classroom run much more smoothly. An aide can assist with any emotional or behavioral needs, when a teacher is focusing on lessons.
3. How do you support children with different academic, social or emotional challenges?
Does the school have any formal programs or guidelines in place for helping children work through social or emotional conflicts? Do they offer after-school tutoring or in-school assistance for children struggling in specific academic areas?
If your HSC has specific sensory sensitivities that you foresee strongly affecting them in the classroom, be sure to mention these. Are they willing to work with your child to accommodate these challenges when able?
4. What specialists are available at the school?
In going along with question number three, it is important to know what specialists are on hand to help should any issues arise. Is there a school psychologist on-site? A social worker? Speech-pathologist? Occupational therapist? School districts may group these specialists under a term like ‘Child Study Team.’
5. What is the learning environment like?
Does the school take a hands-on, active learning approach? Is the focus more on using technology like Smart boards to convey information? Is there a lot of small group work or do students complete most work on their own? Are there a lot of movement activities? Are there opportunities to have quiet time when needed?
Listen to their responses and evaluate them against your child’s personality to determine if the learning environment would be a good fit.
6. How many transitions are there throughout the day?
Since HSCs often struggle with transitions, especially unexpected ones, it is important to know how a typical school day is structured. It usually takes an HSC more time to adjust to change than other children, so you will want to find out how frequently transitions occur throughout the day.
How much time do they have to transition between activities and locations outside of the classroom? Do most transitions take place within the classroom or are they required to leave the room for specials and other daily activities? How much time do they receive for lunch? Recess?
An HSC will typically do best when they receive a good amount of warning before a transition occurs, especially at the beginning of the school year.
7. What is the school’s approach to discipline?
How does the school handle challenging behavior? Do they resort to loss of privileges like recess or snack? Detention? What is their policy on bullying? Do they have any anti-bullying education for students and/or staff?
Highly sensitive children are typically rule followers. They typically hold in a lot of their emotions at school and often don’t want to step out of line; however HSCs can easily be negatively affected by harsh discipline and yelling, even if it is not specifically directed at him or herself.
8. How is information communicated to parents?
How does the school communicate with parents throughout the year? Is email the main method? Text messages? How frequently are parent-teacher meetings held? What is the availability of staff? When calling the school, is a parent sent to a voice mail or directed to office personnel? Are parents able to email their child’s teacher directly? Can you request an additional meeting with teachers or staff if needed at any point during the year?
Be your child’s biggest advocate
School is a place that your child will be spending the majority of their time each day, so it is important to ensure that your child feels safe and comfortable there. Although it can be difficult or awkward to ask some of the above questions, you owe it to your child to be their advocate in the school setting.
Take notes on what you observe during a school tour and talk to other parents who’s children attend the school to get some outside feedback as well. The answers you receive will vary greatly depending on the age of your child and the level of education, but asking these questions will give you some wonderful insight and help you determine the best school for your highly sensitive child.
Take the Guesswork out of Choosing a School for your Sensitive Child!
This 50 page workbook guides you through the pros and cons of 8 different schooling options for highly sensitive children.
Plus several worksheets to evaluate your child’s personal challenges, sensitivities and triggers and to record your family’s personal pros and cons and questions for each type of school.
Other resources on my blog that may be helpful to you:
Beginner’s Guide to Understanding High Sensitivity in Children
How to Handle After School Meltdowns with your Child
How to Help your Sensitive Child with the Back to School Transition
How to Help your Sensitive Child Handle Big Emotions
Discipline Strategies for the Sensitive Child
Gift Guide for the Highly Sensitive Child
5 Myths About the Highly Sensitive Child
Resources for Parents of Highly Sensitive Children
The Power of Play Dates for Anxious and Sensitive Kids
10 Benefits of Being Highly Sensitive
These are great questions. My oldest started kindergarten this year and he is a very sensitive guy. These are some of the questions we asked and it helped a lot.
Thanks for reaching out Emily. My youngest started kindergarten this year as well. Hope your sensitive guy is having a good school year!