Can you relate?

I let out a deep breath as I stand looking into my four year old son’s closet. The weather is just beginning to get warm after a long, cold winter. Today is the first day that calls for shorts and short sleeves. I pick out a cute pair of plaid shorts and matching shirt then lay them on his bed.

The meltdown begins.

“I am not wearing that! I want my fleece pants!” My efforts to convince him that fleece pants will be unpleasant on an 80 degree day falls on deaf ears.

“Those are too scratchy!” he yells as he hides behind his reading chair.

This is a brand new pair of shorts. He has never tried them on, but experience has taught me that I am not going to win this battle. Letting out a sigh I ask, “How about you choose a pair of shorts you would like?” Still unsure, he comes out from hiding.

He picks my least favorite pair. An old, bright orange mesh pair passed down from his brother. There is not one shirt that matches with these. For a second, I swear it’s to spite me. I bite my lip and begin to put them on him.

“Why do I have to wear shorts!?!” he screams while trying to pull them down over the lower half of his legs. He pulls them off and puts on his fleece pants.

We do this same song and dance with every season change. In the fall, he will have gotten used to shorts and refuse pants for a few days. This isn’t our only clothing battle though. He is fussy about tags, clothing that is too tight, shoes and don’t even get me started on “bunchy” socks and their seams!

As frustrating as it is, I need to remind myself that my son is not trying to be difficult or stubborn. He is highly sensitive and has sensory sensitivities to loud noises, bright lights and the feeling of certain clothing textures. Luckily I have had a lot of experience with this. His older brother had the same issue and so I have learned some good strategies to save both mine and my son’s sanity!

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6 Strategies for Dressing a Sensory Sensitive Child Without Losing your Mind

1. Be patient and validate feelings

It can be frustrating when your child refuses to wear a certain type of clothing and even harder to stay calm when every pair of socks in their drawer feels “bunchy” to them. As crazy as it may seem to you, the key to remember is that to your child, their feelings are real and they need you to understand and respect them. Even if you can’t relate, it is important that you show your child patience and love. Validate their feelings and let them know it is okay to feel the way they do.

2. Allot extra time

Nothing makes a clothing battle worse than the extra pressure of running late. It is hard to be calm and patient when your child is going to miss the bus. Plus sensitive children have a lot of trouble being rushed. I try to wake my youngest son up 15 minutes earlier than his older brother to give him that extra cushion of time in case we hit a clothing snag.

3. Encourage them, but don’t force

In a fit of impatience, you may think it’s a good idea to force your child into a shirt, pair of socks or other clothing. They’ll get over it in a few minutes, right? Wrong! This is a BAD idea. No one wins from this. Your child will probably feel even more overwhelmed and hurt by you, not only because you are trying to force something uncomfortable on to them, but because your actions are saying that you don’t care about his/her feelings. You will likely feel guilty too for your bad judgement and for what? Getting them to wear a pair of jeans? Not worth it!

4. Offer choices

Highly sensitive children like to feel in control and giving them choices is a great way to help them feel empowered. Give them the option of two or three different outfits and let them pick out their own socks and underwear each day. Try picking out clothes together the night before as part of their bedtime routine to save some time in the morning.

5. Experiment with clothes

It is all about trial and error and finding alternatives when it comes to clothing with sensory sensitive kids. If they hate tags, make sure to try out tagless undershirts. If seams in socks really bother them try seamless socks. Do they hate tights? Maybe leggings would work? As undesirable as it seems, it may benefit you to take them clothes shopping with you to try on different materials to see what they like and/or cannot tolerate.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff

On any given day, you can find my four year old son in mismatched socks and rain boots on a sunny day. I admit, it took me awhile to be able to give up the clothing battles, but in the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t worth getting stressed over. I have learned to pick my battles and clothing just isn’t one of them anymore. We both are happier and less stressed with this decision. He won’t wear it forever and as long as it doesn’t interfere with his ability to function in his day-to-day life, than I will let is slide. As they get older kids usually find ways to adapt to their sensory sensitivities or grow out of them all together.

Keep in mind that if a child’s sensory sensitivities (in any area) begin to interfere with the their ability to function in daily life, this is a problem that is necessary to communicate with their doctor to rule out any disorders.

You’ve got this!

The next time you find yourself in a clothing battle with your child, try out some of these strategies. You and your child may both find that you have a much more enjoyable morning experience. Want to chat with other parents dealing with clothing sensitivities and other topics related to raising highly sensitive kids? Join our Facebook group.