10 things a highly sensitive child needs to be happy and thrive

A highly sensitive child feels things deeply, tends to notice more in their environment, is easily overstimulated and often reflects on things intently before acting. If you are parenting a highly sensitive child, you have probably realized that these qualities cause them to experience life a bit differently. While your child’s sensitivity may confuse or frustrate you at times, they need your support to thrive. Here are 10 things a highly sensitive child needs to be happy.

1. Acceptance

There must be acceptance from parents before any progress can be made. High sensitivity is not something that will go away. It is a personality trait not a disorder, so trying to change your child won’t work.

highly sensitive child acceptance A highly sensitive child needs to know they are loved and truly accepted for who they are. They feel things more deeply and must understand that being highly sensitive is not a flaw.

Acceptance is the first step in communicating to your child that you are there for them and that you support them.

It is common for at least one parent or family member to have doubts about a child being highly sensitive due to denial, misunderstandings and/or the stigma associated with it. One of the most effective ways to decrease doubt and increase understanding is through accurate information, which can answer questions and ease concerns.

Check out my Resources for Parents of Highly Sensitive Children for some great books and sites to get you started on educating yourself and others. You might also find the article, When Family Members Don’t Understand or Accept the Highly Sensitive Person, helpful as well.

2. Help Navigating their Feelings and Fears

As a parent, it is important to help your highly sensitive child label their big feelings. When they are dealing with a big emotion, you can help them by saying “I can see that you are feeling mad, sad, jealous, joy, etc.” This will give them the words to put to their emotions. Eventually this will lead to them being able to identify their feelings in the future and communicate them in a more effective manner.

You may want to try using printables or a journal to help your child work through their emotions.

No matter how ridiculous or embarrassing you believe your child’s feelings or fears to be in any given situation, it is very important to validate them.

I know this is not always easy, but your child needs to feel understood and comfortable with expressing their emotions. Avoid saying hurtful comments like, “Stop being so sensitive!” or “That is such a silly thing to be upset/fearful about.” Instead a positive response that validates feelings could be, “I see that you are really upset about (fill in the blank). I understand how it can make you feel (fill in the blank). What could we do next time to make the situation better?

Helping your HSC navigate their feelings and fears is not easy for everyone. It certainly was tricky for me, but the more you intentionally practice this, the easier it will become. And I promise that you will have lots of opportunities to practice!

3. Predictable Routines

A consistent routine and predictable structure is something a highly sensitive child needs to be happy. Most HSCs do not like to be surprised, so routines benefit them greatly. Often times HSCs have anxiety when it comes to the unknown or change, so knowing what to expect will help them feel more in control.

Predictable routines are especially important for mealtimes and bedtimes. Everyone functions better when they aren’t hungry or tired, but I think this is especially true for HSCs. In my experience HSCs need a good bedtime routine to help them decompress from the day and also require more sleep than the average child.

It won’t always be possible to keep things the same from day to day, but do your best to stick to a routine as much as possible.

4. Time

Highly sensitive children need time to observe, time to warm up and time to adjust. Transitions and change are tricky for them and therefore shouldn’t be rushed.

5. Downtime

Speaking of time, downtime is something that is crucial to your HSCs happiness, but can often be overlooked in today’s overscheduled, fast-paced world.

Due to the fact that a highly sensitive child feels and process things more deeply, quiet time is very important. They need to be able to remove themselves from others and environments that overstimulate them. This allows them to recharge and is essential to their well-being.

Your child needs time to unwind after a busy, demanding morning. afternoon and/or evening. Give them time to relax. Let them have some quiet time in their room to engage in an activity that they enjoy.

Be mindful of your HSCs limits. Try your best not to schedule anything for directly after school and limit the amount of activities they are involved in. It is important for them to have downtime built into each and every day.

6. One-on-one social interactions

highly sensitive child friendship If you have been following my blog for awhile, you likely know that I strongly believe in one-on-one peer interactions to help highly sensitive children develop friendships.

HSCs often struggle when it comes to joining in with a group of peers. Jumping right into a new situation isn’t their style, so social interactions can be difficult for them. They typically prefer calmer play over interacting with a group of children.

I have found that one-on-one play dates or a get-together around a similar interest/hobby (for older children) are the best way to help HSCs develop a connection and friendship with peers. You can read more about this idea here.

7. Their own space

A highly sensitive child needs a place to get away from it all when they are feeling overwhelmed. They need a place to retreat to when the sensory stimulation becomes too much.

While I understand that it is not always possible, providing your HSC with their own bedroom will benefit them greatly.

If your HSC does share a room with a sibling, I highly recommend the Privacy Pop bed tent! My sons have their own room, but each of them have one of these to help with sleep and also sensory overwhelm. It essentially creates a privacy wall that can allow children to share a room, but also have their privacy and sensory needs met. I believe the Privacy Pop bed tent was originally created for people who were sharing rooms, specifically dorm rooms in college. For more information, you can check out my detailed review of this product.

8. A Creative Outlet

Highly sensitive kids are typically very creative highly sensitive child creativity and have great imaginations. Encouraging creativity and providing them opportunities to create will help them express themselves, work towards a goal, and build confidence.

Highly sensitive people usually find channeling their creativity very fulfilling. Their sensitive nature allows them to successfully tap into their inner self and express it through a creative outlet.

Whether it be building with Legos, drawing, dance, writing or another art form, a creative outlet is something a highly sensitive child needs to be happy.

Nurture your highly sensitive child’s creativity by giving them time and space to be creative.

9. Discipline, not harsh punishment

If you struggle with disciplining your highly sensitive child, you are not alone. HSCs can be demanding and intense, which can wear on a parent’s patience. Some days I am better at being calm and patient than others. Some days I have more energy to give than others and you will too. Every child and family dynamic is different; however I believe that when disciplining a highly sensitive child, you will get the most favorable results with a more positive, gentle approach.

For discipline strategies to avoid and implement with an HSC, check out Discipline Strategies for the Sensitive Child

10. An advocate

Since only about 20 percent of the population has this trait and even less truly understand it, a highly sensitive child will often be misunderstood.

Advocating for your child may take you way out of your comfort zone, especially if you are an introvert, but it is essential to your child’s success and happiness.

It is important that you educate friends, family, teachers, coaches and anyone else who has regular contact with your child about high sensitivity and how to best interact with them. Get access to cheat sheets and other highly sensitive resources at the bottom of this post to help you.

A Happy Mindset

As a parent, it is easy to get caught up in the challenges and frustrations that come with parenting a highly sensitive child (HSC); however if you can shift your thinking and take time to focus on all the amazing qualities of your sensitive child you can really begin to appreciate them and help them find happiness. We need to teach our children that being highly sensitive is not a burden, but rather a blessing. It is not only a positive quality, but a beneficial one as well. That’s definitely something to be happy about!